The FCC, CIA, and FDA have started a joint investigation into the design of Apple’s latest update to the Mac Mini.
“We are concerned that the elegance and beauty of the new Mac Mini will influence the way people watch TV, as it will almost invariably be added to entertainment centers around the world.” said an FCC representative. “I mean, that thing can store every episode of LOST in HD, which is bad for reruns.”
“We are worried that the new unibody enclosure of the Mac Mini will affect people much like a drug, forcing people to buy more and more Minis until they can buy nothing else,” wrote the FDA. “We haven’t stopped thinking about it since it was announced.”
“We jumped in because there’s not a whole lot to do these days, what with the FBI taking over pretty much all of our work,” Said the CIA .
Here at CANS we are trying to save up enough pennies to conduct our own research into the effects of the new Mac Mini’s HDMI port on our 23″ monitor that is currently connected to a loathsome Dell laptop. We estimate we will have the required number of pennies (70,000) by the middle of 2014.
Is cheaper than ever before, and still basically awesome. If you want to give a blogger a hand, please consider using the following link if you decide to buy it:
http://www.macheist.com/bundle/u/33343/
Hey all,
Macheist season is back again, and they’re kicking it off with the giving tree! If you don’t have a Macheist account yet, and wouldn’t mind having one, let me know and I’ll send you an invite. It gets you some free software and it gets me a little free software as well.
We thought this new theme was a bit more Appley. You know, more Leopardy, less Linuxy. More iTunesish, less Amarokesque. Also, you may notice a newish buttony thing down on the right hand side…
In 2008, a hero died. Crazy Apple Rumors Site, known by those who loved it deeply as “Jennifer Frickin’ Connely”, and to the rest of us as CARS, passed into the silent grave of hiatus. Since then the world of Apple-centric blogging has been barren, a wasteland of egos and self-important Grubers goobers. Clearly it was time for a new hero to emerge (cue dramatic music, pan out to a sunrise over the crest of a hill) time for a new force in the world of made up humorous Apple news posts. And that new hero is (wait for a dramatic silhouette to rise over the crest of the hill)…ahem. I said, “And that hero is…” (wait for it. Someone’s got to be coming…) AND THAT HERO IS…(awww, forget it.)…Someone else, apparently.
But while you wait for a new paragon of entertainment, you can read this site. It’s called the Crazy Apple News Site. You can call it CANS. Hopefully it’ll be occasionally entertaining and cause you to want to send the editorial staff thousands of dollars worth of free merchandise.
The current goal of CANS is to get popular enough to get John Gruber to say something nasty about us in person at either MacWorld Expo or WWDC. It’s not a good goal, but hey, you gotta start somewhere. To this end, posts will be posted, and eventually weekly features will be featured. New, made up characters will be introduced and improbable personality quirks will be attributed to various people in the Apple organization. You will laugh at our imaginary staff’s antics, smile knowingly at their misdeeds, and, eventually, come to love them. That’s where the thousands of dollars come in, by the way. None of this “You are soooo cool! I want to be just like you” crap. ”You can’t buy food with ‘you are soooo cool’s” is our motto. If you can’t express your appreciation in the form of cold hard cash or, at the very least, iPod Socks, then you can keep your flower-child love to yourself, you dirty hippies!
So, um, welcome to CANS.
