Crazy Apple News Site

Today we here at CANS are happy to welcome Frasier Crane, fictional doctor and food snob onto the blog!

Many is the time that I have been preparing for a discrete little soiree in my apartment and have discovered to my horror that I have neglected to adequately explore the full range of cheeses before leaving the apartment, and must choose a cheese based only on my memory of the qualities thereof. This is quite a quandary. Do I purchase the rather nice Lingot Saint Bousquet d Orb that has only recently been made available and hope that it goes well with Bourgogne Chardonnay, or do I purchase the Pitchounet in the belief that it is a more suitable match? Naturally, this usually leads to unlikely goings-on, and more than once has resulted in my randy producer becoming amorously involved with a purveyor of wines and spirits. I’m beginning to think that she could use some therapy herself.

Thus you can imagine my delight when I discovered fromage, a small, inexpensive program for the iPhone that allows me to peruse the world’s finest in curdled milk while out shopping, and ensures that my purchase of Cendré du Beauzac will not fight with the Côtes d’Auvergne that I’ve had laid up for a few years now to truly impress he head of the Arts Council at the beginning of the 2009 season. For only three dollars I can be assured that my choices are the height of taste and sophistication. Unless my improbably-skinny brother “accidentally” erases the program and replaces it with a highly inaccurate parody thereof…

Since it worked so well for my most formidable predecessor, all I’m putting in this post is a link to a post I wrote about Delicious Library on my other site. It’s not as big as Macworld, but hey, I’ve got about 10 dedicated readers on that site! And some T-shirts for sale!

That article started out as a post for this site, but isn’t very funny. Please, no comments about this site not being very funny either.

Leap, the new finder replacement by Ironic software, advertises itself as “better than the finder” at locating both the documents you were looking for and the documents that you didn’t know you were looking for.  However, further testing has proven that Leap is better at locating documents than the actual human brain, and has therefore made the user as useless as an embarrassing vestigial tail.

“With Leap, I no longer need to use my computer,” said tehCatz66 in an online review.  ”All my documents are so easily found, I just think about them and I’m done! Thanks, Ironic Software!”  This is thanks to Ironic’s use of Bluetooth, Bonjour, and Voodoo. 

With Leap you find things based on your natural memory of that file.

says the Leap website.  Macs with wireless connections can automatically connect to your brain, then pull your memories directly from your brain, thus allowing Leap to both index your brain and know what you are looking for, both consciously, as well as subconsciously in the new beta version of Leap 2.0.  ”I won’t say there haven’t been embarrassing situations with the whole ‘subconscious search’ feature,” said Ted Leckie, one of the members of the Ironic team. ”There have.  Like that time that we were demoing the product and this girl with an iPhone walked by.  Leap was searching all the customer’s minds at the time, and suddenly the screen was full of really, really shocking images. Pure lust, in it’s most graphic form.  I mean, it’s just an iPhone!  I’ve got, like, three that I purchased with the proceeds off of Yep.  Don’t tell Tom, by the way. I told him Yep tanked.”

Perhaps the most powerful feature of Leap is the way it can 

…allow you to stumble upon not only the file you were looking for but sometimes an even better one that you weren’t looking for. 

“It’s totally true,” said another user, whose name I haven’t made up yet.  ”I was looking for my will, which I keep as a Pages document, and I found a letter my wife had written to my best friend.  I thought they hated each other, but  now I know that they’re, like, really good friends! Now I can have him over for poker on Wednesdays again! Thanks, Leap!”

Leap is available for only $59 from Ironic software, or if you have overclocked your Time Machine you can go back a couple of weeks and get it as part of the MUPromo Bundle.