Friday iFAQ: Windows 7
This Friday we return from our month-long retreat to Camp NaNoWriMo to answer some inFrequently Answered Questions, like we used to. Like a family.
Today on a very special episode of Friday iFAQ we tackle a sensitive subject: Windows 7 and Boot Camp.
Warning: some content may not be suitable for rabid Apple fans. Reader discretion is advised. 1
Q: So I have a question about Windows 7. Why does it suck so bad compared to OSX? Looks like MUCKrosoft has three more versions to go before they get it right, eh? Eh? Am I right?
A: It certainly is a Microsoft product, yes.
Q: And what’s with the Microsoft counting system? 95, 98, Me, XP, Vista, 7? What’s that all about? I tell ya, their marketing department is almost as bad as their dev team! Awww yeah, they felt that one! ZING! Eh? Eh? Amiright? Awww yeah.
A: They have certainly had some difficulty finding and adhering to a naming system, heheh.
Q: Say, what’s the matter? We’re talking about Windows here. Why are you just sitting there? Where’s the fire, the pizazz? What’s wrong?
A: Oh it’s nothing. It’s fine. Say, that Steve Ballmer, what’s that all about?
Q: Yeah, look that’s great, but we can bash on Ballmer any time. But now it’s time to rip the new Windows a new one! Come on, let loose!
A: Okay, okay, here goes: ahem. No, not that. Okay, one more shot. Here goes: Wow, Windows still doesn’t have a built-in email client capable of connecting to Exchange Servers? What’s up with that?
Q: … I’m disappointed, I really am. I expected so much more from you. What are the children going to think, if they see you like this? It’s sad, so sad.
A: Look, it’s not a big deal. Macs still totally rock.
Q: So what is it then? I mean it’s not like you’ve started liking…. oh, oh no no no. That’s it, isn’t it? You, you don’t LIKE Windows 7, do you?
A: Look, it’s not a big deal–
Q: Bu- Wha- Why? How? How did this happen? What does this mean for us? For the site?
A: Look, I had to work with Windows 7 on a few projects in my grad school class this semester, and we just kinda, got along.
Q: Got along? With Windows? Why? What did OSX do wrong?
A: Nothing! OSX is still the number one OS in my life, and nothing will change that.
Q: Do the devices know?
A: Um, yeah. I’ve been dual-booting my MacBook Pro–
Q: Oh that’s just wrong–
A: And the iMac has been running Windows as well.
Q: And the iPod Touch? Have you dragged little Touch into your sick new world?
A: What? No! The Touch still syncs with my home iMac.
Q: Well, it’s good to see you’ve retained some sense of propriety. But, still, saying that you like Windows 7? That’s just wrong. It’s like the world has just pulled out from under my feet… I gotta sit down.
[Sits down]
Well, anyway, the semester is over, so you can un-partition your drives and we can put this whole thing behind us, right?
A: Well…
Q: Oh, I do not like the sound of that…
A: It’s just that, well, I’ve only just started grad school, and there’s a lot of classes ahead of me that will be using Windows, so I’ll need to keep dual booting for a while…
Q: And that’s it? You’re just going over to 7 just like that? How did Windows get you under its spell? What is it about Windows that you like? Is it that new interface? It is, isn’t it? Prancing around all tarted up like some cheap French–
A: Now, you know OSX’s interface has always been enough for me! OSX is sleek, and stylish, Like Audrey Hepburn.
Q: And Windows 7 is painted and dolled up like Paris Hilton. Real operating systems are secure enough in themselves to not need all those alpha effects and glowing start buttons. But if what you are saying is true, and it’s not the slapped-on-with-a-trowel interface special effects, what is it? How did Windows steal your heart?
A: I told you, I’m still loyal to OSX. But, well, I’ll be working a lot with Windows in school and in my new job, so I want you to try to be nice and get along.
Q: Oh, so it’s a new job too, now? What about a new computer or two to go with your fancy new schooling and employment? Maybe a few Dells around the place–
A: Stop that!
Q: Perhaps an HP or two in the den, one for work, one for play, right?
A: Knock it off! There won’t be any Dells or HPs coming into the house. This is an all-Apple house and it’s going to stay that way. All I said is that Windows 7 isn’t that terrible. Sometimes a programmer needs to write some C#, and when that need arises Windows is there for me. And it’s important to me that you can accept that. MacBook Pro has accepted it, and so has iMac. What about you, Q? Can you accept that sometimes I’ll have to spend some time with Windows? Just for work purposes?
Q: Just for work? Promise?
A: I promise.
Q: Well… I guess I can accept that. But I don’t have to like it.
A: Deal.
[Cut to a interior shot of a kitchen. A celebrity2 who needs to work off some community service time is seated at the table]
Parents, talk to your kids about dual booting before someone else does. Let them know the risks involved, and help them understand that healthy dual booting is done in moderation. Boot Camp doesn’t have to ruin your life. And remember, whenever you boot into Windows, use up-to-date anti-virus software. Thank you.

