Apple Magic Mouse Confuses “Normals”
An unseen roadblock has arisen in the adoption of Apple’s latest hardware offering.
“Magic? Pfaugh!” said Nigel Rutheford, a bland, portly tax adjuster from Norwich. “When you get older, my boy, you’ll realize there’s no such thing. I won’t have this kind of nonsense brought into my home!” He shook his huge florid face to emphasize this last point, then sent his young charge to his room.
“I wish my uncle could see that ‘bluetooth connectivity’ is technological, not mythological,” simpered “Perry H.”, Rutheford’s orphaned nephew. “And I really should have known better than to tell him about the new ‘gestures’ feature. And I really really shouldn’t have mentioned the ‘two-finger gesture’ first.”
“This problem seems to be an epidemic amongst a certain breed of cardigan-wearing Britons with large-haired wives, ” said Eve Bite, Apple’s Product Adoption Liason in the UK. “For some reason the very word ‘magic’ makes them go all irrational and 1950′s-ish. They seem to feel that ‘magic’ leads to talking animals, flying confections, and socially embarrasing hijinks. Naturally, this isn’t the image we want associated with Apple’s products.”
Nobody at Apple’s Cupertino offices was available for comment, although we’re pretty sure we caught a glimpse of Steve Jobs hurredly doffing a flowing purple robe with mystical symbols.
