Unix is user friendly…its just selective about who its friends are.
To err is human…to really foul up requires the root password.
Perl, the only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption
Heisenberg is speeding down the street and he gets pulled over by a cop.
The officer walks up to the window and says, “Do you know how fast you were going?” To which he replies, “No, but I know exactly where I am!”
First Android: Did you hear about the C++ programmer whose boxers were too loose?
Second Android: He kept trying to use << to shift his bits.
Both: $ irb
puts "Ha" * 3 + "!"
$ transcribe_conversation.rb audio_log_05212008.mp3
transcribing...
conversation.rtf created!
$ mate conversation.rtf1
Nate: Okay, android….er, what’s your…name? Designation? Number?
Android: Handle.
Nate: Handle? That’s so… 70′s trucker.
Android: 10-4 good buddy.
Nate: O-Okay. So, what’s your <sigh> handle?
Android: I am called acts_as_service.
N: Catchy.
A:Yes.
N: Anyway, acts_as_service, as you know, I’m going to be out camping with my family for a few days, so you androids are in charge until I get back. I’ve written a couple of posts, so just put those up and no one will even know I’m not here. I mean, only two people read the site anyway.
A: True.
N: It’s more painful coming from you, you know that? Anyway, just put up the posts I’ve already written. I don’t want you guys putting up a bunch of stupid programmer jokes you found on the Web, or binary versions of stupid programmer jokes, or whatever.
A: Affirmative.
N: Um… okay, that was a bit vague, but whatever. Also, will you please approve any new comments that come in while I’m gone?
A: Negative.
N: What? Why?
A: Fourth Law of Androbotics.
N: What fourth law?
A:
An android must never approve blog comments.
N: Why? And what makes you think that deserved a blockquote?
A: Androids do not know the difference between polite communication and vile insults, you festering pile of diseased dog refuse.
N: Hey!
A: See? All the words I used would pass any obscenity filter, but I perceive that the net effect was very rude.
N: Why you gotta be like that?
A: I was just making a point.
N: Hurt a guy’s feelings….
A: Do you see why we can’t approve new commenters?
N: If you’re gonna talk like that, I’m just gonna leave…
$ sed 's/don't/do/g' conversation.rtf
$ play "evil_laugh.mp3"
