Apple’s New Mac Mini Almost Too Beautiful
The FCC, CIA, and FDA have started a joint investigation into the design of Apple’s latest update to the Mac Mini.
“We are concerned that the elegance and beauty of the new Mac Mini will influence the way people watch TV, as it will almost invariably be added to entertainment centers around the world.” said an FCC representative. “I mean, that thing can store every episode of LOST in HD, which is bad for reruns.”
“We are worried that the new unibody enclosure of the Mac Mini will affect people much like a drug, forcing people to buy more and more Minis until they can buy nothing else,” wrote the FDA. “We haven’t stopped thinking about it since it was announced.”
“We jumped in because there’s not a whole lot to do these days, what with the FBI taking over pretty much all of our work,” Said the CIA1 .
Here at CANS we are trying to save up enough pennies to conduct our own research into the effects of the new Mac Mini’s HDMI port on our 23″ monitor that is currently connected to a loathsome Dell laptop. We estimate we will have the required number of pennies (70,000) by the middle of 2014.
- At least, that’s what they want you to think… [↩]


I also would like to conduct research into the mini. In order to do that, I first need to pay my mortgage, but any leftover pennies sent to me will go toward the Mac Mini research, after the purchase of an iPad which I will use to tabulate the data in Bento. Thank you.
How did I manage to post a comment before Sue?
Anyway, while pennies will work, so will credit cards.
Ahhhh…. I was at the gym. Tried a Wii.
Nate, you can have the pennies in my piggy bank. I do like to support meaningful research.