the iPad: A Future History
- March 15, 2010: People finally get tired of calling the iPad “basically a big iPod Touch”
- March 16, 2010: The wave of iPad-sounds-like-maxi-pad jokes fails to slow down at all, sadly.
- April 7, 2010: iPad app sales outpace the sales of all apps on the Android Marketplace ever.
- April 8, 2010: The ill-conceived ZunePad is announced
- April 9, 2010: In a move that earns the respect of Mafiosos everywhere, Microsoft attempts to whack every journalist who covered the ZunePad launch event, hoping to be able to deny they ever dreamed of such a thing.
- May 21, 2010: Apple announces the code name for OSX 10.7; not in a conference, nor in a webcast, but via email to John Gruber and David Pogue. Industry pundits suspect the new name heralds an overall shift to the new iPad when the name is revealed to be “Some kind of cat or something”
- May 4, 2010: Lazarus Long buys an iPad.
- July 24, 2010: Pro-Windows bloggers are forced to admit that, despite its shortcomings, the iPad “seems to be doing okay” as Apple celebrates the sale of the 10 Millionth unit.
- July 25, 2010: Apple announces the iPad 2nd Gen, with all the features everyone wanted in the 1st Gen for $100 less.
- July 26, 2010: 10 million 1st Gen iPads are available on eBay.
- July 27, 2010: iPad OS 4.0 is released to developers so they can write apps for the new 2nd Gen iPad. 4 million copies of the SDK are downloaded, resulting in 10000 new apps released to the iPad App Store, 5000 rejections, and an estimated 6 Million “Hello World” apps worldwide.
- September 21, 2010: The 2nd Gen iPad is released. People who have been standing in line since July find that they no longer have the ability to walk.
- November 3, 2010: Bill Gates, Steve Ballmer, and Paul Therrott , all dressed in black trench coats with the collars turned up and sporting dark glasses and fedoras, each buy an iPad from the Apple store in cash. A suspicious mall employee presses the silent alarm and the three are apprehended and taken in for questioning. They found to be perfectly innocent, albeit perfectly innocent owners of iPads. Apple bloggers are unable to breathe for a good twenty minutes after seeing this story on Twitter.
- December 25th, 2010: Millions receive iPads for Christmas. Dozens receive whatever terrible tablet thing HP is pushing, and immediately list them on eBay.
- January 10, 2011: Apple announces a user base of 20 million iPads, and the new iPad 3rd Gen with all the features everybody wanted in the second gen. 20 million iPads are listed on eBay.
Categories: Uncategorized
The 10 millionth iPad will be sold on my birthday! Mine will count as one.
I’ve been wanting “a bigger iPhone/iPod Touch” just for Bebot and other music apps, so Apple made me one. Now if I only had some money…