Friday iFAQ: NetBeans
Every Friday we publish a list of inFrequently Answered Questions and answers to help you, the Crazy Apple user, get more out of your Crazy Apple products.
This week we follow the old advice to write about what you know. By writing about the only program we’ve used this entire week: NetBeans.
Q: Can NetBeans write C++ code?
A: No Talky! Head hurty! Thinking…thinking no happen. Ask ‘droids. They know stuff.
Q: O-Okay. Um, droids?
A: Yes?
Q: Can I write C++ using NetBeans?
A: We only use TextMate. And Ruby. So we wouldn't know.
Q: So why did he tell me to ask you?
A: to get rid of you, most likely.
Q: That was painfully honest. Should I bug him again?
A: We would. It's funny.
Q: Okay then! Hey! Answer guy?
A: MmmmmMMMmmmMGGGH! NO! I won’t find any more paths between nodes in an n-vertex graph! You can’t make me!
Q: I don’t want to make you.
A: YOU optimize the matrix to run with over one hundred thousand nodes! I’m a web programmer, not a philosopher!
Q: So why do you use NetBeans?
A: It works with Subversion. And subverts my thoughts and dreams and makes me see code when my eyes are closed. But it’s better than Visual Studio.
Q: Wow, hey, really?
A: No, not really. But it runs on a Mac and can handle open source languages.
Q: Like Objective-C?
A: Wha? Why? That’s what XCode is for. NetBeans is for annoying student projects.
Q: What about Eclipse? I keep hearing good things about Eclipse.
A: Eclipse is an annoying student project. That IBM decided to pay for. Don’t listen to everything you read on the web. AND don’t correct my grammar. Too tired.
Q: Well, I guess you answered my question–
A: Not likely, mate.
Q: — So I’ll let you get back to your delusions.
A: Wait, you’re not a delusional illusion? Gaaaah more ibuprofin! More gatorade! Must write cold in spite of the head code! Can’t stop the rock!
Q: Okay! have fun with that! Bye now.
A: Also, if you’re getting ready for NaNoWriMo,1 Don’t use Ulysses. Ulysses’ interface makes rats barf. Scrivener is better. And Cheaper. And Better. Did I say that already?
Q: Yes.
A: Good. Because it is. Choosy mac users choose Scrivener. And WriteRoom. Use ‘em together! on your ‘Pod! ‘Sgreat. Now go ‘way. Gotta do the assignment! Gotta get extra credit. Needa extra credit card. Heheheh *THUMP*
- And you thought that I’d forget! [↩]
