Monday FAQ: Post From A Parallel Universe!
Editor’s Note: Our Usual Friday iFAQ this week was somehow replaced with this “Monday FAQ” which comes from SANS, the Sane Apple News Site. So enjoy what might have been…
Every Monday we publish a list of Frequently Asked Questions, to help you, the Sane Apple user, get more from your Sane Apple products.
This week: Excel, the best spreadsheet program ever from that underdog software developer, Microsoft.
Q: Why have I never heard of this program?
A: With iWork being the dominant office productivity suite, other office suites often get overlooked. Microsoft has recently released a new version of their Office suite, and Excel has many features that put it head and shoulders above Numbers.
Q: Microsoft? I thought all they made was Zunes!
A: The popularity of the Zune has led many to believe that. But they make more than the #1 music player in the world. They even have an operating system, called “Windows” that has gained a bit of traction lately, ever since they turned the code base over to the open source community.
Q: Why would anyone use anything other than OSX?
A: It’s hard to believe, but some people like to go out into the rough and deal with OS’s that crash a lot and get viruses.
Q: What? What’s a virus? Like, using “Windows” will give you a cold?
A: Hahaha, no not quite. They’re not common, but computer viruses1 are small programs that install themselves on a computer and then try to spread to other computers. Windows is pretty susceptible to these programs, and some people find a thrill in trying to protect their computer from them.
Q: Why don’t they just play tower defense games?
A: It is a mystery.
Q: Anyway, what was this about a spreadsheet program that’s better than Numbers?
A: Oh, I didn’t say it was better, just taller. Well, fatter. Well, it takes up a lot more RAM and hard drive space, and doesn’t really work all that well on Macs. Microsoft says it works better on Windows, but even Excel can get viruses.
Q: So it’s harder to use, less elegant, wastes space, and RAM?
A: That’s about the size of it, yeah.
Q: That means I can get less work done and blame it on my software! This is great! I’ve got to get my whole office to switch over immediately! This non-stop productivity has been driving me crazy! It even cut into my latest surfing trip to Hawaii with my photogenic friends! Now I can finally stall and procrastinate! Oh, thank you!
A: Glad to help.
- or, if you want to be pedantic, virii [↩]
Now my head is the one that hurts. At least the one in that parallel universe.