Friday iFAQ: X Slimmer
Every Friday we publish a list of inFrequently Asked Questions and answers to help you, the Crazy Apple user, get more out of your Crazy Apple products.
This week, in a very special Friday iFAQ, we help you deal with fatty Mac syndrome with XSlimmer.
Q: I have a problem.
A: I have a solution.
Q: If we apply your solution to my problem…
A: It will precipitate. But we are not in chemistry class. Tell me about your problem.
Q: Well, it’s about my Mac…
A: Go on.
Q: It’s hard drive, well, its hard drive space is getting, differently free.
A: As in, “It’s now free to store a whole bunch of stuff, and free from a bunch of new writes, because of all the stuff on there?”
Q: Yeah. That kind of free.
A: Out of curiosity, and I ask not to judge but to help, how long does it take your Applications folder to open? And when it does open, how long does it take to scroll from “Automator” to “Utilities”?
Q: Erm… Well, it’s not quick, sometimes.
A: Fond of the ol’ apps, are we?
Q: I know it’s a problem! I mean, I keep saying I’ll only download one more, but, well, MacUpdate just keeps putting them up there!
A: Word Processors, Text editors, image editors, “snippet” programs, are these the sort of thing?
Q: Well, those, and games. And a few clipboard programs. And a new browser or two every once in a while, to settle my stomach.
A: Hmmm. I see.
Q: Is there any help for me?
A: Well, I would recommend you lay off the virtual machine programs and font managers, but I do think we can help reduce your…overload substantially right now.
Q: Naaah, I’ve tried those uninstaller programs. App Zapper, Hazel, the works. I just keep adding the apps back in after I delete them!
A: Ah, but this isn’t an app remover! This is XSlimmer. It works with your apps to free up hard drive space naturally!
Q: But how does it work?
A: XSlimmer contains a natural blend of algorithms that help you remove unwanted languages and hardware architectures from your apps. You see, most apps contain both PowerPC and Intel instruction sets, which results in large apps that are hard to digest.
Q: Wow!
A: In addition, many apps are designed to be used worldwide, which means that they have resources in many languages stored within the app. And unless you speak all those languages, many of those resources are just taking up space. Space you could be using for more apps!
Q: Tell me more!
A: Oh I will. XSlimmer asks you what languages you speak, and automatically determines your processor type, then removes everything you don’t need from the app. Don’t speak Esperanto?
Q: Who does?
A: Than the Esperanto language options are gone? Using a G5?
Q: You know it!
A: Then off with the Intel code! And just like that, your apps are slimmed as much as 50%!1
Q: Wow! Where can I get this magic madness?
A: The Internet! For only $12.95 you can be on the way to a trimmer, healthier, happier mac. Buy now! Paypal is standing by. 2
- Your results may vary. These statements not approved by the USDA or Apple or anyone else. See your doctor if you develop any symptoms, or your AppleCare warranty support provider if you Mac does. [↩]
- Note: This article was not sponsored by XSlimmer. But it really should have been. [↩]
Well, I probably should use this but I probably won’t.
Mi parolas Esperanton! Kial vi ne?