Crazy Apple News Site

So, after three days of insane amounts of work at my other job, we finally make it to WWDC: Why won’t dorks co-operate? and the keynote that we’ve all been waiting for.  For those of you who didn’t sit there for two hours watching the liveblogs, here’s a brief synopsis:

• 13-inch MacBook is now a MacBook Pro. It feels special.
• After ripping on Windows 7 for being Windows Vista 2.0, Apple tries to keep you from noticing that all they did was add the word “Snow” to the preexisting leopard.
• The MacBook Pro line gains SD card slots. “This is the digital card format of the future!” proclaims an excited audience
• It’s revealed that the MacBook lineup is so “green” that they all go out and plant trees when you aren’t using them. PC laptops, for contrast, signal a special machine in Redmond that cuts down a tree every time Windows boots up.
• something called Dock Expose gets touted as the best feature ever ever ever.  It looks kinda complex, but we’re sure that’s just because we don’t yet understand it.
• QuickTime X has a new “creepy techno-eye” icon
• At one point, they claim that Snow Leopard will “blow up your thumbnails”, which sounds like an “enhanced inerrogation” technique to us.
• New motherboards can have 16 billion gigabytes of RAM.  Java apps will still be dog slow, however.
• the new iPhone OS will take the iPhone in a completely new direction: GAMES! Okay, it’s an old direction, but boy did they ever demo the heck out of new games today!
• iPhone OS 3.0 will have features that were included in Android 1.0, Pre 1.0, and for that matter, the OS that runs the Motorola RAZR
• If you lose your phone, Mobile ME will go out and tell you where it is, then tell whoever has it that it’s yours and you want it back please. Also, MM will wipe your phone clean, so they can’t steal your. *ahem* passwords.
• Not one but two feature demos failed. This never would have happened if Steve had been in charge.
• Oh, right, there’s a new iPhone. It’s got a compass. You should buy it.  Also, apparently Apple hired MacHeist to make the commercial for it.

And that’s all folks!  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go get some sleep.