Crazy Apple News Site

Every Friday we publish a list of inFrequently Asked Questions and answers to help you, the Crazy Apple user, get more out of your Crazy Apple products.

This week: the launcher that’s still supported, LaunchBar!

Q: What is a LaunchBar? Where astronauts go before…

A: No.

Q: So… Why do I want this thing that isn’t a place to get an upwardly mobile midday meal?

A: Do you run programs on your Mac?

Q: Yes…

A: Do you ever use Spotlight?

Q: Yes. Um…

A: THEN YOU’RE WASTING TIME! LaunchBar is there to allow you to do these things without the huge, vast, excessively wasteful processes you’ve been using since 1942. LaunchBar is better than Finder and Spotlight combined and finding and spotlighting things!

Q: I just switched from a PC like, two years…

A: Let’s face it: the finder can take seconds to get you to the program you want to open, and even when it does, it just sits there.  You need that file open now, dang it!

Q: No, really, that’s okay…

A: And what about your cut and paste operations? You’re probably wasting huge amounts of time laboriously cutting one thing, pasting it somewhere else, cutting the next line, pasting that.  THIS IS BECAUSE YOU ARE STUPID! LaunchBar allows you to do intensely amazing things with your clipboard, without running three extra programs.

Q: I just need to run one extra program, right?

A: LaunchBar isn’t extra, it’s integral. LaunchBar makes you so much more productive that people from other companies will stop by to give you promotions!  With the amazing ClipMerge™ feature, you can (wait for it) merge several clips together into one single clip object, which can then be pasted at will into anything!

Q: Okay, that’s kinda useful, so I could copy text from a few documents…

A: Paste it into your cat! Paste it into a blog! Paste is delicious! ClipMerge™ puts you in command of the paste! You are Lord of the Paste! The PasteMaster! You need it! Launch it now! Use it! Love it! It does math!

Q: Wha? Math? Why…

A: Complex equations are simple! It can handle sines and cosines! You want the sines and cosines? You think you’re ready for the math? You can’t handle the math! You need LaunchBar. You need it now! Buy it!

Editor’s note: We haven’t asked them, but we’re pretty sure that Objective Development, the creators of LaunchBar, would like us to point out that we are in no way affiliated with them at all.  But in all sanity, we really do like their product and use it daily.