Friday iFAQ: iPhoto ’09
Every Friday we publish a list of inFrequently Asked Questions and answers to help you, the Crazy Apple user, get more out of your Crazy Apple products.
This week: we begin our tour of the brand new iLife Apps with iPhoto ’09.
Q: Look! Look look look! See the pictures! See the pictures of Spot and Jane!
A: Did you take those? Where did you take them?
Q: iPhoto will show! iPhoto shows me! Oh look look! They were all taken in Iowa!
A: Jane and Spot are in Iowa! You can see them. They are on the Map!
Q: I can see Jane! I have 3,043 pictures of Jane! Jane is my friend!
A: Oh look! Oh see! Jane is in these pictures. iPhoto recognizes Jane!
Q: Can you recognize Jane? When will you see her?
A: I can recognize Jane. We will see her when we go to Grandmas! Jane is playing with Grandma. Jane and Sally are at Grandma’s house.
Q: Sally never should have been in the books! We jumped the shark when Sally came. See Sally jump! Jump, Sally, jump! Jump jump jump.
A: What did you say? What did you say about Sally?
Q: Oh, nothing. I did not talk about Sally. I did not call Sally a show-stealer.
A: Okay. Do you have questions? You should ask! Ask your questions!
Q: I will ask you. I want to make a book. I want a book of pictures. I want a book of pictures of Jane. Can I make this book? Can iPhoto help me make this book?
A: Yes, iPhoto is simple!1 Making books is easy! I will show you how! Watch me click! Click click click.
Q: You are making it! You are making a book. It is a book full of pictures! It makes me happy! But I am also sad.
A: Why? Why are you sad? Why does making a book make you sad?
Q: Because all the pictures of my childhood are still under copyright. What can I do?
A: Pirate them! Pirate the pictures of your innocent, carefree youth! Use them! Use the pictures of you and Jane and Spot! Now you are a pirate!
Q: Avast! Avast avast avast! I am a pirate! I will plunder! See me plunder!
A: You’ve gone too far! Get help! Run now and get psychiatric help! Run run run!
Q: Arrr.
- Kinda the point of this whole thing. [↩]
iPhoto is your friend.
One of the big cultural shocks for me growing up is that nobody knew about Jack and Janet and Tip and Mitten. They’d go on about Dick and Jane and Spot and Puff, and I’d think “What planet are they from?”
Eventually I learned that it was I, not they, who came from the wrong planet. Life is cruel.