Friday iFAQ: Keynote ’09
Every Friday we publish a list of inFrequently Asked Questions and answers to help you, the Crazy Apple user, get more out of your Crazy Apple products.
In honor of the latest release of iWork, we will be covering all three of the new versions in the coming weeks.
This week, Keynote ’09, the most advanced version of the most advanced slideware in the world.
Q: Look what I can do! [slide changes in a twisty motion]
A: That’s great, but what’s your question?
Q: Isn’t that awesome?
A: Yes. Not much of a quesiton…
Q: Wanna know what’s even cooler? I did that with my iPod Touch! $.99 and I’m a presentation machine, baby!
A: Hey, great, that’s just amazing. Well, thanks for playing! Bye!
Q: No, come on, look at this: I can make “Six Potatoes” into “Ox-Top Siesta”!
A: Yes, yes you can.
Q: Aaaand I can make “Not a loser” into “Aloe Snort”! How cool is this?
A: So, you’re using Keynote to make anagrams? And do a fairly inaccurate job of it?
Q: Nonononono! I’m doing so much more! I can make sparkly things! Happy things! Things a mind like yours couldn’t start to comprehend!
A: But you’ve cleverly avoided making sense.
Q: I made 99 cents! And got an awesome remote program for my iPod Touch!
A: Hey, you are listening! How nice. So, did you actually want to ask any questions, or just brag about your mad Keynote skills?
Q: No, I have a question.
A: Oh good…
Q: Wanna see my presentation on iWork.com?
A: No.
Q: Why not?
A: Is it full of anagrams? Maybe a few Magic Move effects?
Q: Maybe…
A: Some “Perspective” dissolves?
Q: It’s a good effect!
A: Yes it is. But content does count for something.
Q: Oh, I get it. You’re one of those Presentation Zen people, aren’t you? All “Don’t create you presentation in Keynote, use Keynote after you’ve designed your presentation” and crap like that. Probably only put one image on a slide-
A: That’s me.
Q:-Then you’re all, like, “If your slides take away from what you’re saying, you did it wrong”. My presentations speak for themselves, pal.
A: I’m sure they do. And I’m sure you read them, word for word, to your audience.
Q: I leave out a few words!
A: Okay. Well, have fun with your new remote control!
Q: Did-Did I win this conversation?
A: Sure, kid. Sure.
Q: Yes! I win again!
A: You’re pretty much awesome.
“I made 99 cents.” Hee hee hee……
Edward Tufte has a great critique of the PowerPoint mindset … oh wait, you’ve already read it. Never mind.
This comment posted from my iPhone, because I can. Thank you.
Oooh, you got an iPhone. Congrats! Are you loving it?
I just got an iPod Touch. It’s pretty awesome.
I just got my second. Boy, have I wasted time on this!
Yes, I love my iPhone, but so far I have only downloaded free apps because the keychain on my Mac is so goofed up that Keychain Repair fails. So I may have to reinstall Tiger to be able to purchase things through the iTunes/App Store again. Meanwhile, my iPhone makes me almost omnipotent, so I have no worries.