Whiny people whine about “the Environment”
Steve Jobs today was forced to admit the truth: Apple is really terrible for the environment.
Based on an unknown list of criteria, yet another watchdog group has lambasted Apple for being just really, really terrible for the environment compared to such upstanding companies as Dell and Tesco, which I would know more about if I lived in England.
“You got me,” Jobs said in a private phone call to Ceres headquarters that we may or may not have wiretapped.1 “We are actually burning down three acres of rain forest for every iPod Touch we sell. It’s not even part of the manufacturing process or anything, we just really hate any tree that doesn’t produce Apples.” Jobs said, inciting profuse whining from the party on the other end of the line.
“Furthermore,” quoth Jobs, “all that stuff about ‘going green’, reducing our carbon footprint, making our systems more recyclable, and being open about our systems? All false. We still use coal and steam to stamp out the new MacBook cases. How did you ever catch us, Granola Joe?” His tone suggested that he was not being entirely sincere at this point.
“Wght, shertgsh, hurgl… I gotta go lie down!” was all we could get from John Gruber on this topic. One assumes that he’s having another heart attack, but you can see his point.
In a surprise counter attack, we were unavailable for comment this time when Apple tried to reach us for a statement.
- Using Wiretap pro, which we got from MacHeist II last year. [↩]
Must plant trees. Must atone for my iPod touch. Sigh……
When I can harvest energy directly from the sun using chlorophyll in my skin, then I’ll get any carbon-guzzling Apple product I want without the guilt.
That might be a ways off…
I think we should all buy an iPod AND buy some rainforests. That’ll fox ‘em!
I’ve got another iPod under the Christmas tree. You get the rain forest and we’ll be all set.
@Lurker222: I don’t think I entirely understand your comment. But thanks for making one!
Nate,
So good to see someone else posted! Sue and Ace Deuce have had to carry the bulk of the community’s responsibility of posting comments (I know, I’m hanging my head in shame for not posting as much as they do).
It’s a tough job but somebody has to do it.
Happy Holidays to all and we’ll hope for a very Apple New Year.