Every Friday we publish a list of inFrequently Asked Questions and answers to help you, the Crazy Apple user, get more out of your Crazy Apple products.
This week we return to an old favorite who just got a new look. That’s right, HyperCard! Er, no, I mean, iTunes 8.
Q; Is iTunes 8 really all that different?
A: Hoo yeah!
Q:…
A:…
Q: Care to elaborate?
A: Sure! I mean, the genius mode alone is more awesome than a bag of tap dancing penguins. And then there’s the new grid view for all media types. That’s just awesome. I mean, seriously, what could be more awesome than having ten icons that all say “Dance” on them?
Q: Why would you have ten “dance” genres?
A: Who doesn’t? Techno, DJ, Hip-hop, they’re all “Dance” to iTunes.
Q: O-Okay, whatever. I gotta tell ya, though, I’m just a little worried about the “genius” thing. Does it really need to send the entire contents of my library to some creepy server in Cupertino?
A: There aren’t any creepy servers in Cupertino! And anyway, it’s completely anonymous. Just because the server knows that someone has the complete works of Yanni in full, uncompressed 256kbps glory doesn’t mean that it knows who that loser is.
Q: Heh heh, yeah, what… what kind of loser would have a complete Yanni collection?
A: But what they would know is that a person who listens to the works of Yanni also likes John Tesh, and they can help people build Yanni/Tesh playlists, with some Neil Diamond thrown in to “spice things up”.
Q: Ewww, I don’t like Neil Diamond… I mean, um, yeah, that works.
A: It also helps avoid the embarrassment of Party Shuffle pulling up your previously-mentioned Vanilla Ice collection when you’re trying to listen to Beck-like music.
Q: That wasn’t me, that was a different FAQ question-asker.
A: There’s more than one of you?
Q: Yes.
A: Strange.
Q: Is it true that the “Genius” will insert any John Mayer you have into any playlist it creates?
A: It was in beta, but something seems to have come between John Mayer and Apple, and he’s been replaced. I wonder what could have happened with that relationship1?
Q: Yes, It’s like there was a painful conversation between them2
A: Well, I guess we’ll never know3.
Q: So now is there some new “most favored artist”?
A: Jack Johnson.
Q: Cool. So, If I make a genius playlist based on, say, “Penny Lane”, then I’ll get the most Penny-lane-esque Jack Johnson song?
A: Oooh, no can do. iTunes don’t do no Beatles. But you would be amazed how well Johnson’s Hawaiian groove blends with Coltrane.
Q: Awesome.
Ace Deuce on September 12th, 2008 at 11:32 pm says:
Though I’ve never heard Yanni, John Tesh, or Vanilla Ice, their mention here suggests they must be awesome.
I did hear Kenny G, back when he went by the name Kenny Gorelick, and he was simply aw-something.