Crazy Apple News Site

Since I didn’t have free access on campus, I wrote my notes for the day on paper, and I’m putting them here now.

• 8:15 – Salt Lake City: Waiting for my plane to board. A man across the isle of seats from me is reading about the launch of the new G1 Phone. I can tell he’s about ready to rush out and get one by the way he yawns and closes the paper, then turns to the sports section.
• 9:40 – 35,000 feet above sea level: I learn that airline restrooms are not designed for men who are over six feet tall.
• 10:53 – Denver International Airport: Lady at the car rental place asks if I would like to rent a GPS unit.  I confidently tell her that the iPhone has built-in GPS.  She reminds me that I have a busted Motorola PEBL, not an iPhone.  Incensed, I refuse the GPS anyway.
• Noon – Somewhere near Fort Collins: We can’t find the hotel.  Wishing I had an iPhone.
• 12:15 – Fort Collins: Stop and ask for directions. Lady at gas station exclaims, “You’re on the wrong side of town! You need to drive all the way across town, turn on Harmony, and you’ll find your hotel.” We set out across town.
• 12:20 – Fort Collins: turns out Fort Collins isn’t all that large of a town. We check into our hotel and go get lunch.
• 2:00 – Colorado State University: We meet with people about highly classified business. Programmer at CSU informs me that the CSU campus doesn’t like Macs, but he’s a secret Mac fan that is trying to fight the power.  I urge him to keep the faith alive.
• 5:30 – CSU: Meetings over.  We head to dinner.  My secret, furtive glances around the campus reveal that 1.) it is indeed a PC campus, and 2.) there are at least three men with full beards, suspenders, and large black skirts on the CSU campus.  Unable to determine relationship between these two facts. The day’s reconnaissance finished, we set out to find dinner.
• 7:00 – Our Secret Hotel Headquarters: There is a hot tub and swimming pool. Both are empty. This is because the hot tub is heated to fourteen million degrees.  After twenty minutes, it’s too hot even for me, so I get out and return to my room
• 7:25 – My Room: I unpack my MacBook and connect to the free high speed internet.  There are no instructions for how to connect a Mac to their network.
• 7:26 – The Internet: I am now connected. I check my email and begin writing this post.

So there you have it folks! Day One of the Fort Collins experience.  Although I was unable to comply with Ace’s suggestion, I did drink a large amount of root beer, which is exactly the same the world over.

What will tomorrow hold? Will we discover the answer to the great question, “Why doesn’t CSU like Macs?”¹ Will I get an iPhone?² Will we see more bearded men in large black skirts?³  Will we successfully find our way back to the airport without an iPhone? ⁴  Find out in the next installment of Fort Collins Journal!

1. No. [↩]
2. No. [↩]
3. Altogether too likely. [↩]
4. So long as I’m not driving [↩]