Every Friday we publish a list of inFrequently Asked Questions and
answers to help you, the Crazy Apple user, get more out of your Crazy
Apple products.
In an effort to stop worrying about what we’re going to write each
week, we have declared August iLife Month. Every Friday this month we
will be writing about a member of Apple’s creativity suite.
We continue this week with iMovie: the program that makes you look like George Lucas1 .
Q: I would like to add a transition between two scenes of movie I’m creating.
A: Okay, that’s easy. All you have to do is–
Q: D’ya wanna know what it’s about?
A: NO! No, no, no, nonono, no, huh-uh, nope, no, um… not right now, no. Thank you though! Let’s just show you how to do transitions. What you do is select the scene that you want the transition to come after and–
Q: It’s a space pirate ninja elf romance.
A: Aaaaiiegh! I said I didn’t want to know what it was about! What’s your title, “Overused Internet Trope Story”? Wait, no, forget I asked I don’t want–
Q: It’s called “I CAN HAS ASTEROIDZ??? I HAS A BUKKIT!”
A: Oh merciful heavens…
Q: The hero is kinda this fox guy, like in that old video game? Anyway, he’s got a first officer who’s a cat girl named–
A: You mixed StarFox and Furries into your sick little production?
Q: Ummmm… yes? So anyway, they meet this ninja space bat named Gwylindor, and he’s got a ninja master who–
A: Nope, nope, nope. Not listening. Go. Just go. You don’t want iMovie, you want Windows Movie Maker. Now get out.
Q: …A ninja master who is a half-elf half-
A: I don’t want to know. Come on, up you get. I’m sure if you leave now you won’t get caught in traffic. Bye now!
Q: Anyway, I want to share it online with all my friends that helped make it last month after renfest, but…
A: Oh, hey, weren’t you just leaving? Okay, well, see you later then! Here, I’ll get your hat.
Q: …So I want to share it online, but, um, I don’t have a Mobile Me account! I’ll bet that gets you angry!
A: Thank the stars. Mobile Me has had enough troubles without your little geekfest. Come back when you’re making movies about your stylish road trip to Vancouver. Then we’ll talk.
Q: I took a trip to Lindon the other day. Does that count?
A: Bye now!
- minus the facial hair [↩]
Sue aka the lady on August 15th, 2008 at 1:06 pm says:
Cheezburger for me please.
Ace Deuce on August 15th, 2008 at 6:30 pm says:
But I don’t wanna look like George Lucas! How about Woody Allen? Eric Rohmer?
Hitchcock?
Nate on August 15th, 2008 at 10:14 pm says:
Sorry. The Choices are George Lucas or Ken Burns. You want Woody Allen? Use a freakin’ typewriter, hippie!
Sue aka the lady on August 16th, 2008 at 7:18 am says:
You leave Ace alone. He can be Woody if he wants to be. Or look like him. Why would he? Only the shadow knows for sure.
Ace Deuce on August 16th, 2008 at 10:52 am says:
Actually, after seriously considering what film director to resemble, I’ve decided on either George Clooney or Sophia Coppola,
But I refuse to give up my Mac, and as Robin Williams noted, The Mac Is Not a Typewriter.