All around the world, people are already standing in line, hoping to be the first to use Mobile Me, Apple’s latest revision of its online storage and synchronization tools.
Which is odd, because they can just buy a .Mac membership and it will work when Mobile Me is launched possibly later tonight. But still they line up at Apple stores across America, “waiting for the cloud”.
“I can’t tell if they’re serious,” said an Apple store employee, who asked to remain anonymous, which we don’t like because “anonymous” is really hard to spell the same way twice, so we’re going to call him Bob Johnson. “We asked if they were excited about the iPhone launch this Friday, and they’re all like ‘pssssh. iPhone. Just a jumped-up Treo! We want our image galleries instantly synced up across all our computers.’ What was really weird is that they all said it in unison.”
But not everyone shares Bob’s trepidation. Bob hoards his trepidation, keeping it locked away, safe within a strongbox deep in his soul. To find out more, we went to one of the thousands of “Mobile Parties” that are happening across the country today, and spoke to one of the raving fans.
“I’m so excited! I just can’t hide it! I’m about to sync my email, and I think I like it!” blared the huge stack of speakers as we entered the high school gymnasium that a group in Des Moines, Iowa had rented. Inside was a crowd of people, all wearing shirts with the Mobile Me logo, all dancing, singing, eating apple based snacks from long tables along one wall, or plugging their laptops into one of the many LAN-party style stations on the other wall.
“Yes, I too await the coming of Me,” said a man, who would only identify himself as “stevor338@me.com”. “With the coming of Me we shall all finally be able to transcend the myth of physical forms, not to mention have our contacts available to us from any Mac or PC. Yes, as we embrace the Me in the Cloud, the purely physical me, the one that doesn’t take stylish vacations to Cancun or Whistler, the one that doesn’t match Apple’s vision of humanity, will be left, a shell sitting in a chair in front of a late-model G5 iMac, while our spirits dance among the servers in Cupertino.”
And with that we left them, moved and impressed, not to mention creeped out. Will the launch of Mobile Me truly herald the coming of Mankind’s truest self, our ultimate destiny, or will we simply have 20GB of storage space online in which we can keep our plans for a home made radio laser cannon? Only time will tell.
Sue on July 9th, 2008 at 1:53 pm says:
Second!
(saving First Comment for Ace)
Mobile Me? Mobile You. Ah, just stick a stamp on it.
Ace Deuce on July 9th, 2008 at 8:38 pm says:
First!
Thanx Sue, I owe you one.
Eloquent reportage, but they don’t have enough Pulitzer prizes this year to honor Crazy Apple News. It’s a crying shame.