Posted on July 12, 2008 at 7:38 am

Friday iFAQ: Boot Camp

Every Friday1 we publish a list of inFrequently Asked Questions and answers to help you, the Crazy Apple User, get more out of your Crazy Apple products.
Today: Boot Camp.

Q: So, like, can I boot into a Linux partition using Boot Camp?
A: TEN-HUT! Would you care to rephrase that question, soldier?
Q: Er, can I boot into a Linux Partition using Boot Camp, Sir?
A: SIR? Do I look like a goshdarned officer to you? So you see these three stripes on my arm? Do you, maggot? While you are in this man’s boot camp you will call me Drill Sergeant! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?
Q: YES DRILL SERGEANT!2
A: Okay. Now, in this man’s boot camp we boot into exactly two operating systems. OSX, the home country, and Windows, or enemy territory. And you little taped-glasses pantywaist GEEKS want to start fighting on a third front! You want to attack our UNIX-based, penguin lovin’ allies in the middle of a war! Does that sound like a good idea to you, maggot?
Q: NO DRILL SERGEANT!
A: Fine. Now, this is how we do things around here: 1.) You obtain a valid Windows key! 2.) Use the Boot Camp Assistant to partition your disk! 3.)Install Windows in the newly created partition! ARE THERE ANY QUESTIONS?
Q: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN AN IRRESISTIBLE FORCE MEETS AN IMMOVABLE OBJECT, DRILL SERGEANT?
A: Oh, a wise guy. Mr. College here thinks he can outsmart the dumb ol’ Drill Sergeant. Thinks Sarge never learned anything about unanswerable hypothetical questions. Didn’t think to mention the destructability of the immovable object, which, being made of granite, in my hypothetical example, IS DESTROYED IMMEDIATELY!! IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO? NOW DROP AND GIVE ME 20!
Q: 1…2…3…4…5…
A: Now, carrying on.
Q: 6…7…8…9…10…
A: Once Windows is installed, you move back and forth between Operating systems by holding down the “option” key at boot time!
Q: 11…12…13…14…15…
A: You MUST use antivirus software, or it will be hosed just like any other Windows computer!
Q: 16…17…18…19…20, DRILL SERGEANT!
A: You MUST exercise caution when installing new applications! So, do you have any more smart-alek questions now, college?
Q: NO DRILL SERGEANT!
A: GOOD! Now, let’s all jog over to the mess hall and get our grub. Sound Off!
(all) I don’t know but I’ve been told
Bill Gates is getting pretty old…

  1. or Saturday, if we have network troubles on Friday [↩]
  2. This article is going to have a lot of CAPS LOCK action going on. Sorry about that. [↩]

2 Responses to “Friday iFAQ: Boot Camp”

  1. Sue on July 12th, 2008 at 9:00 am says:

    Sir, FIRST, sir!

  2. Ace Deuce on July 12th, 2008 at 11:00 am says:

    Since when is being drunk out of your mind called “network troubles”?

    Uh-huh, thought so.

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