With a slew of new products like the iPhone 3G, Mobile Me, Snow Leopard, etc. on the horizon, people are more upset than ever with the performance of Leopard’s Time Machine backup software.
“What I want from a time machine is the ability to move around freely in time,” said Jason Patrick, who we’re pretty sure is a real person. “Instead all I get is a sissy versioning backup system with an incredibly cool spacey thing going on behind it. Who needs that? What I want is a way to be the first one in line for my new iPhone! Useless! ”
And Mr. Patrick is not the only one. There is a growing feeling among the Apple community that they aren’t being given what they deserve as loyal fanatics of the world’s most advanced operating system, and that their blind faith in the company is being unscrupulously manipulated.
“I’ve been unscrupulously manipulated!” claimed Douglas Fairbanks of Fairbanks, Alaska. “When Apple tells me that they’ve created a time machine, I don’t go around asking questions and trying to know things. I don’t want a lot of backtalk and lawyer-speak about how it can only recover files from the past. I expect Apple to produce a full-on H.G. Wells style device for traveling willy-nilly through the time stream! How does Apple expect me to wait a full 45 days for Mobile Me? Whassat? Yeah, I know that today’s the 18th and it comes out on the 11th, but I’ve been waiting in the past as well.”
Some feel the problem stems from the hype created when Apple CEO Steve Jobs does one of his famous keynote presentations.
“Steve Jobs creates in Apple followers an immense desire to immediately purchase the products he presents, lest they incur his wrath and are damned from the Infinite Loop forever,” says John Gruber. “When he then tells them that they have to wait, that they must return to the mortal coil iPhone-3G-less, and with not even a Snow Leopard to comfort them, they get a bit testy. Then they get angry, then remorseful. They reason that the fault belongs to their external backup device, and not with their almost infantile desire for immediate gratification. Fortunately, I get preview copies of things, because I’m an incredibly successful ‘new journalist’. Yeah! How’s that taste, punks? I write a blog and get a preview iPhone! What’d you get for your blog? A freshly baked batch of ‘you suck’ with sprinkles, that’s what!”
Merlin Mann, however, believes that Apple’s lack of future-powered Time Machines is a design feature. “If you could simply go to when you already had things done there would be no need for “Getting Things Done”, which would nullify the need for GTD software, mantras, filing systems and ultimately lead to chaos. Apple is aware of this and has bravely withheld their powers that humanity may survive. But I get preview units too, so I really don’t care.”
Up to this point in time, Apple has refused to comment. What the future holds is as yet undetermined.
Sue on June 18th, 2008 at 1:55 pm says:
First!
Nate on June 18th, 2008 at 4:26 pm says:
*Tweet* Foul! Comments must have some content! 2 place penalty! Okay, play ball!
Sue on June 18th, 2008 at 5:22 pm says:
Rules? There are rules?!!?
Ace Deuce on June 18th, 2008 at 9:09 pm says:
I just looked at the instant replay, and there clearly was some content in the post, specifically “irs,” visible between the “F” and the “t.”
On the subject of Time Machine, people should be careful what they wish for. My wife finally tried Time Machine on her MacBook, and now she’s in 1963 Chicago, repeating second grade.
Worse, Detective Wilson isn’t amused by my explanation of her whereabouts.