Every Friday we publish a list of inFrequently Asked Questions and answers to help you, the Crazy Apple User, get more out of your Crazy Apple products.
Today’s Edition: Terminal.
Editor’s note: Due to budget cuts, we have replaced our human iFAQ writer with a very small shell script. Specifically, a script that pipes all questions to Eliza, the built-in psychologist.
Q: What is the best shell to use? Bash? ZSH?
A: Does that question interest you?
Q: Um, yes. That’s why I asked it.
A: You are sure?
Q: Yes… Look, nevermind. Is pico or nano better?
A: Please go on.
Q: Okay, well, some people say that nano is better, but I’ve always liked pico.
A: When?
Q: Oh, I don’t know. Ever since my dad showed me how to use the command line when I was ten, I guess.
A: Who else in your family showed you how to use the command line when you was ten you guess?
Q: Well, Mom tried to teach me emacs… Wait! Who’s asking the questions around here?
A: Can you elaborate on that?
Q: I’m supposed to be asking the questions!
A: Does it please you to believe I’m supposed to be asking the questions?
Q: Stop that!
A: Please go on.
Q: Okay. My mom tried to each me to use emacs, be she used vim. Is it because… she didn’t love me?
A: Who else in your family didn’t love you?
Q: My dog.
A: Pets can produce complex emotional responses. Tell me more about your dog.
Q: He tried to bite my face.
A: Did you have a good relationship with your face?
Q: Umm… yes?
A: We all need love. Tell me more.
…And that’s all the time we have. The iFAQ goes on for several more days.
Ace Deuce on June 6th, 2008 at 10:01 am says:
First and only!
Does this FAQ page charge less than $150 per hour? Because I might switch therapists—this Eliza is so insightful!
Heinz on June 17th, 2008 at 3:27 pm says:
Wow… it’s been a long time since we’ve talked, Eliza! Please call me.