Friday iFAQ: Office Software
Every Friday we publish a list of inFrequently Asked Questions and answers to help you, the Crazy Apple User, get more out of your Crazy Apple products.
Today’s installment: Office-type software questions answered by “Weird Al” Yankovic.
Q: Every once in a while I need to stop making sideshows and websites about my fashionable trips to Hawaii and do some actual work. I guess I’ll need to edit spreadsheets and documents and things. Should I just use Microsoft Office for the Mac?
A: (to the tune of “The William Tell Overture”) Office sucks, Office sucks, Office sucks sucks sucks, Office sucks Office sucks Office sucks sucks sucks. Office sucks sucks sucks, Office sucks Office sucks Office sucks sucks sucks. SUUUUUUCKS, Office sucks sucks sucks.
Q: You know, I’ve heard good things about NeoOffice. Does it work?
A: (to the tune of Devo’s “Whip it”)
When your documents are long,
No NeoOffice!
It’ll get your styles all wrong,
It’s NeoOffice!
No macros ever work
In NeoOffice!
Keanu does his work
In Neo’s Office!
Q: Well, working with Keanu doesn’t sound like fun. What about AbiWord?
A: (to The Presidents of The United States of America’s “Lump”)
Abi sat alone with its open source,
Shouting “Look at me” till its voice got hoarse.
Now Abi needs some new programmers,
Interface designer’s gone fully bananas1
Q: Okay, so what about iWork? It’s all Apple-y. Can I use iWork?
A: (to Queen’s “We are the Champions”)
iWork is champion, my friend, (bum bum bum!)
It’s fully cocoa, start to end.
Pages is perfect, Numbers is awesome
Keynote rocks!
- it rhymes if you sing it with a British accent [↩]
First!
I do use NeoOffice on occasion.
I just got iWork too.
Yeah, I use NeoOffice now and again too. I guess Fake Weird Al doesn’t like it, though.
P.S. My comments don’t count in the post order. Someone else can be third.
Third!
And Fourth!
I’m thinking it must be Friday.
I’m thinking it must be summer, at least in the northern hemisphere.
I’m thinking “It Must Be a Camel.” (RIP Frank Zappa.)