Crazy Apple News Site > Friday iFAQ: iPhone 3G

Every Friday we publish a list of inFrequently Asked Questions and answers to help you, the Crazy Apple User, get more out of your Crazy Apple products.

Today’s edition: the new iPhone 3G.

Q: I’ve heard the new iPhone can integrate its GPS feature with Google Maps. How does that work?

A: It works beautifully.

Q: I was glad to see that Apple switched from the mirror-gloss case to a more sensible black plastic.  How does the new case hold up to scratches?

A: It is exceptionally designed. Beauty and functionality, all in one package.

Q: How does the iPhone decide if it’s going to use Wi-fi or 3G wireless access for data transfers?

A: The iPhone is a miracle of high technology.  Its what-service-should-I-use software is more intelligent than most graduate students.

Q: You haven’t really answered any of my questions, you realize that?  All you’ve done is spew platitudes.

A: The iPhone does not need to stand up to the questions of a mere anonymous user.  The iPhone is intuitive, elegant, and far better than you, or anyone you know, could ever be. Do not question the iPhone 3G, embrace it.  Welcome it into your life and you will see what you have been missing in your communication device.

Q: Once again, less than helpful.  

A: As you learn to accept the iPhone, your problems and questions will fall away, and you will become part of the Apple vision.  Soon you will see the glory in paying $70 a month to own an iPhone, and only then will you see the true, transcendent beauty of the iPhone.  

Q: Now I don’t know if I should be buying an iPhone or praying to it.

A: Cast aside your belief that there is a difference.

Q: Ooooookay, creeped out now.  I’m leaving.

A: Yes, now you are creeped out, but on July 11th, you will see the true light of Apple wisdom.  Don’t fight it. Accept the iPhone and break forth into joy.