Crazy Apple News Predictions
In keeping with the current trend in the Apple blogging community, I present the CANS predictions for WWDC: What Would Doogie Create.
Rumors of iPhones, new arctic cats and changes to mini Me aside, we predict that Apple is poised to take over yet another major market: the pastry industry. Yes, the main “one other thing” presentation point will be: the Pie1.
“Steve has been working really hard on this,” says Phil Shiller. “He’s been up all night for weeks, getting the crust just right, working on the recipe for the filling, even testing various new frozen delights for Pie a la mode. It’s called iCream now, by the way.”
Reports from the Apple campus report that beta versions of the Pie were “scrumptious, but not yet insanely scrumptious” and that Steve has been worried about getting it ready on time for WWDC, fearing that pushing back such a major announcement would hurt their stock value by as much as .001 points.
We believe that–at this time–there will not be an SDK for the Pie, and that consumers will have to enjoy only the apples that Apple sees fit to put in the pie. At this release, the Pie will come in three varieties: Bramley, Granny Smith, and, surprisingly, Jonagold.
We have yet to verify rumors that Microsoft is working on a wireless “Zune Pie”.
- Note to Windows users: on a Mac, those question marks are Apple icons. Sorry your fonts suck like that. [↩]
First?
Woohoo!
I predict the first generation of Pie will be kinda flaky, just half-baked due to a lack of development time.
Second!
I just hope apple doesn’t put their pie in the Window(s) to cool.