Since its launch, iPhone has been the smoothest, sleekest communication device on the market, able to place, hold, merge and separate calls all from a simple, intuitive interface. This is all well known. However, one less commonly known feature of the iPhone is its ability to smooth over the actual conversations held using an iPhone.
“My girlfriend called me and told me she was leaving me because all I do is play Neon Tango for upwards of fifteen hours a day,” said Jason Simmons of Rose Park, Washington. “But when I demonstrated the ability of the iPhone to conference in my mom, her mom, and some telemarketer that called me while we were on the phone, she was convinced that I was the man for her. Now we play Airburst Extreme head-to-head every day!”
Others have found that the iPhone works equally well in work situations. ”I called up my boss, to tell him I quit and he can take this job and shove it,” said “Beve Stallmer,” an employee of a large corporation in Washington who wished to remain anonymous. ”When I got off the phone, however, I was CEO of the company!”
Apple has been quiet about this conversation smoothing technology, but an unnamed source did tell CANS staff that “Steve felt that it would be detrimental to the iPhone’s image if it were to carry crude or painful conversations, as people might associate the iPhone with the work or relationship damage done. So it was decided that the iPhone would be able to intelligently screen your calls; replacing painful or damaging comments with comments more prone to make people feel that you are intelligent, hip, and basically, a perfect Apple customer. Now as long as you never speak to people face to face, no one ever has to know that you’re an overweight, opinionated geek! As you can tell, I’m not using an iPhone right now.”
Apple may have made comments, but all we heard was “Have a nice day” over and over again.
Ace Deuce on May 19th, 2008 at 10:29 pm says:
First!
Only!
(sigh)
The White House needs one in a red finish, to soften those 3:00 AM calls.